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Lekker South African Biltong...-10 February 2011

...or "How to Identify When Things are Not from South Africa."

I am incensed at Dave Randall's (the guitarist from Faithless) use of South African radio to advertise anti-Israel messages. Not because I support Israel. But rather because I find it annoying that he, a UK resident (i.e. neither from SA or Israel) is advertising biased anti-ISRAEL messages in SOUTH AFRICA. Hmmmm???? Really, I am just pissed off because I have considered myself a loyal Faithless fan since buying Sunday 8pm in 1999. So I'll shut up now about it, smile at the fact that the concert's organisation was terrible, and let Dave Randall highlight his intelligence on his own (trust, this quote is dumb in and out of context):

"A question that usually arises is why we aren't boycotting the US or Britain because of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. We can't boycott Britain — we live here — and in the US the music market is so big that it would go unnoticed. If you're serious about trying to make the world a better place, you have to be strategic.'

And we now continue with our show entitled, "What Pissed Milktar off in the Last Week".

I do not know what it is with some guys, when they fall in love with a girl when she tells them she likes the same things as them. Usually, this entails the girl admitting that she likes a certain indie band that the certain dumb fucking guy also likes. Dear Dumb Fucking guy, do you know how many people in the world also like your band? I promise, a girl liking your band is not a cue for you to get down on one knee. Usually, anyway, these girls turn out to have The Crazy Eyes (yay! A How I Met Your Mother reference) (liking alternative bands usually means that a girl is crazy or a minga, for some stupid reason). And what makes you think it is a logical choice to find a girl based on her preferences in music or arts? Taste in art is an opinion. It can only be subjective and one's taste can change so much over time. How is it possible to build relationships based on something so ephemeral as an opinion. Dumb Fucking Guy, you're a Dumb Fucking Guy. Rather go for girls based on looks... it's less shallow.

In the same moment as deciding that the topic of the above paragraph pissed me off, I also decided that South Africa has no place for American (or UK) Indie/Hipster/Emo Culture. We are a country full of very rich cultures and yet our deluded White Middle Class 20 Something's feel it necessary to stay closed off in cultures which have no historical backing in South Africa? Don't get me wrong, I am very very guilty of this. But there is something strange about it. Why can't we come up with our own White Culture or at least use what's available to us? I see Sokkie as the next Big White Thing. Hmmm... praps South Africa isn't exactly good at creating White Culture. In the meantime, until South Africa breeds something good, I'll continue to enjoy counting at Wolves the number of times people tell me in a night that they have recently been to New York or London.

Shabbos dinner last week. Alone. Being forced to meet new people. An opportunity for Jewish Saffers to prove to me that they can be friendly upfront. And what does conversation turn to?!? Soccer!!!! Soccer!!!! Grrrrr........ arggghhhhhh.......... the most alienating conversation topic ever. Soccer conversation is good at separating those who know about soccer and those who don't. I know my bit. But not enough to have deep conversations about the controversies in the transfer market, or how Rio Fernando has been in and out of treatment for his neck-groin-hamstring injury. Soccer conversation is all about saying the same thing over and over again. In fact, when you get down to it, soccer involves two statements:

  1. Did you see that Player X is being transferred to Team Y for Amount Z?
  2. How was Player A's goal yesterday!? Amazing!

There are other things that come up, but when the Pro Soccer Conversationalists get into full swing that is all you get. And there is no way of getting involved in these conversations. Soccer Conversation is truly truly an alienating unfriendly pastime. Let me compare it to Computer Conversation. I believe myself to be very good at Computer Conversation. I often find myself talking technology with Aunties, Colleagues, Kids and Businessmen With Lots of Money. And somehow or other a) the conversation gets everyone excited, b) people who are not part of the conversation can join in very quickly and easily. Computer Conversation (and many other topics of conversation) have the ability to be spoken at a lay level. Everyone has seen or used an iPod or the Internet. Not everyone saw Fernando Tores' goal yesterday. Soccer conversation is about facts and unless you know these facts you cannot break into the conversation. Know what else I hate? When girlfriends secretly inside like it when their boyfriends talk soccer with other guys. You love that inside you, don't you?

I like to speak with emphasis and sometimes this does involve my raising my voice - I am not angry with anyone, it just makes the things I say more entertaining or memorable (even if what I am saying is dumb). However, The Thing that pissed me off the most, last week, was being told to calm down. One thing you do not tell me, is to calm down, especially if 5 minutes before/after telling me to calm down you were shouting about nothing important (happened twice in the space of week to me). Grrrr......

I am an opinionated Jew -4th September 2009

Here is my conspiracy theory for the day: the production of the documentary "Zeitgeist" was itself funded by the US government. Is it not true that the documentary says that the government uses paranoia to control the masses? Well, after watching this documentary I have become even more paranoid about this mass control. It makes me feel even more separated from the masses... because it infers that besides the other separations which exist (religion, race, class, sex) there is a further separation: those that are enlightened to the fact that religion and government control us and those who aren't enlightened. Talk about elitism. My conspiracy theory loops the Zeitgeist conspiracy theory in on itself.

Attended Limmud a few weeks ago. Yisrael Aumann is the man! I have decided that for the rest of my life I am going to use the ideas he put forward in his talks. In the past I have always been very self-conscious about my opinions. I don't think this will change, but from now on I will talk like my opinions are the gospel. Why? So that I can get the truth out of people and to try find the truth about the world. I am happy to be shot down... its the only way to learn. But the only way to get shot down is to pull out a gun yourself (if you'll excuse the bad analogy). I think this approach is also useful for getting girls. Act like you are the shit... even though you know you are not the shit. Girls will start thinking with their vaginas and reveal their true intentions to you very quickly if you do.

Another thing I decided at Limmud is that I intensely dislike opinionated Jews. I am differentiating here between Jews with an opinon and opinionated Jews. An opinoinated Jew is one who's strong opinion is all that makes up their character. They have to tell you their opinion even if it is not relevant to the discussion at hand. I saw too many of them at Limmud. The person who insisted that it was the worst idea ever to go visit holocaust concentration/death camps because then you are funding a human suffering tourism industry. Fuck. That. Shit. Visiting places like that is not a world issue. It is a very very personal thing. The decision is based on whether you feel like you can... but this fucking opinionated Jew stood up and during a talk and decided to shout this opinion at the presenters. I bet this opinionated Jew was sitting in the audience just waiting for the chance to express her opinion.

Do you know what else I hate.... when you are trying to protect someone's identity by not using the gender-specific pronouns. Fuck that. I'm going to start being gender specific.... well done Mr detective you've narrowed it down from 6.4 billion to 3.2 billion. Yisha Koach. Or since you know it is someone in the Jewish community: 70 000 to 35 000. Still, Yisha Koach.

The next thing that pisses me off this. All of a sudden, just because people have decided that iPhones are soooooooo cool that they will now become application consumers. "Wow! The iPhone has such sexy curves I now have this need to buy applications for it". Huh???? You do know that applications have been developed for all the other phones for years and they are no more easier to develop for the iPhone? Are you fucking dumb? I am pissed off because I have a Nokia, with a very powerful operating system (OS), yet every mobile phone programmer has decided to only develop the cool apps for the iPhone. And there is still huge market for applications compatible with Symbian! Surprise! People own Symbian phones! You can develop applications for this as well and make more money! And seeing as mobile app development has very low cost, it doesn't seem like good business sense to me to rule out Symbian. But then again... I am an engineer so obviously the arseholes who I originally expressed this opinon to told me that this is my showing my stripes as an engineer and that I know nothing about marketing. Get fucked. If it is easy for you to make a t-shirt for women that costs you 50c to make, but would only be bought for R1.00 by 50% of the potential clothes buyers, why not make another shirt for men for 50c that would be bought buy the other 50%? There is almost the same amount of labour going into the women's and men's shirts. No. Rather cut out half your market for no reason whatsoever. Programming for Symbian is just as easy as programming for iPhone. No, milktar is an engineer so he know nothing beyond the technical world.

And lastly... I intensely dislike KD girls.

I Couldn't Express These Sentiments Any Better... -24th June 2009

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it
Thanks to Insomniac for this.

Getting Wet for Strategies -19th June 2009

Before I even fucking start I need to fucking say something. That stupid fucking 70s hairstyle that has suddenly become popular where girls with long fringes pull the fringe back and clip it so that it leaves a little bump of hair is fucking stupid. It makes you look like you have a fucking growth coming out of your fucking forehead. See image below for an example of how fucking stupid it looks.
Why is this sexy?

So what strategy did you use tonight? Did you use a pick up line? Did you neg her (give her a backhanded compliment) like "I think you're beautiful... on the inside"? Did you acknowledge how ackward the situation was just to make her feel like you're also a human who she can relate to? Did you make a fool of yourself, but then acknowledge that you made a fool of yourself, so that she would think that you're a fun guy, who's also human with human shortcomings? Did you act like an asshole giving her small bits of attention here and there but then acted unintrested when she tried to get your attention? Did you wear a tie or a stupid hat just to get her attention so she would comment on it, and then you'd acknowledge how stupid it is so she would feel comfortable and unthreatened with you but also feel like you're a fun confident guy?

All of the above strategies work. They fucking work. Now I need you to please follow with this point. THE ABOVE STRATEGIES WORK!!!!!!!! Guys plan these things before they go out and girls fall for them. They love them. They think you have a bigger penis, just because you used your magic PLANNED strategy on them. Part of the strategy making the strategy seem unplanned and natural. But let me tell you, these strategies are planned and completely unnatural. I mean, what kind of rational human being would like to be insulted with a backhanded compliment?????

Let me tell you what doesn't work. Trying to start a decent conversation. That doesn't work. Sincerely taking interest in a girl. That doesn't work. Complimenting her on how nice she looks. That doesn't work. What works is dressing like an idiot, feigning confidence and acting disinterested. This is what turns girls on. Now please carry on trying to follow my point. This turns girls on. Nothing else. There are different strategies all based around the same idea. And they work. And girls lap them up. They fucking love them. They hate it when a guy tries hard. Its been admitted. He mustn't try hard... because that is unsexy. Huh??????? And acting sincere, interested and caring is even more unsexy.... I don't care if you girls deny it (and you deny it a lot).

"I know its a cliche, but I find guys who try too hard very unattractive."
Trying hard isn't sexy. What the fuck? Where does this come from? I mean, what is the reason for this? Okay fine, I know its a truth and guys are not supposed to try too hard. But my point about this whole thing is why is it a truth????? Why do these strategies work????? Why?????? Motherfucker.... why???????????????????????? Is it biological, anthropological or sociological? Can you please give me a rational reason for it? Please. I don't care whether you admit to it or not. I just want some level of rationality, some hope that the human race isn't fucking stupid.

There are females reading this right now who are thinking to themselves "Jesus milktar is getting worked up over nothing. We don't find guys who try hard sexy. We like guys who are fun, offish and confident with acting stupid". Great, thanks for admitting it (fuck, every girl who admits to it thinks she is so smart). But I don't care whether you admit to it. I just want to know why is this the case?????? Why???????? Why don't you get wet for a guy who is nice and caring and friendly and interested in you. Why not? Believe me, in the real world being nice is more of a challenge than acting like an asshole. But no.... you want an idiot. You love idiots. I could go into so much explicit unplesantries right here, but I won't for fear that I might break my keyboard.

What annoys me is that most females reading this probably think that I am whining about nothing.

And what annoys me the most here is that very very few females will actually ever admit to this completely. And when I say completely, I mean fully accept that the whole thing is fucking stupid. They don't. They love guys who use these strategies. And they say they don't love it. But they love it. They want it inside them.

And just so you know, I'm not just talking to the girls who go to The Manhattan Club. I'm talking to you pseudo-intellectual and pseudo-alternative girls who will deny that they love strategies and offish guys and say that they prefer real sincere caring guys. That's until a guy with a good strategy waves his strategy magic wand and your knees buckle and you land up fantasising about him whilst some sweet sincere guy tries to chat you up with intellectual conversation. You're getting hot thinking about the offish guy as you read this, aren't you? Yes you are.

A side note on arguing -7th March 2009

I just watched Religulous. Interesting, well presented and informed. But there is one thing that pissed the crap off of me. Bill Maher's incessant use of the phrase "so you're saying..."

"So you're saying <insert some crazy twist of the other speakers comments>"?

And when they agree with Bill, they are shown as dumb. And when they don't agree he just starts laughing. So it's a rhetorical question. So why say it? You're not making a point by using other people's stupid points. They don't agree with you. So why use their points???????!!!! Bill, people's arguments come from experiences which have affected them. The meaning of their words (whether wrong and crazy or right) is caused by experiences throughout their lives. So don't think you can sum up people's arguments just by prefixing them with "so you're saying". No.... that's not what they're saying.

So let's use Bill Maher as a target of this. I'll never actually ever be able to interview him. But to quote (with a prefix) from the last few lines of Religulous, this is what I would ask him:

"So you're saying despite human kind continuing through generation after generation of wacky fantastical religion through thousands of years, and despite millions upon millions of followers not being dead, we must grow up or die?"

What I have said above loses the spirit of what he has said. And this is what he does himself by prefixing "so you're saying". What bothers me more is that this is a common tactic for argument and its even worse because people are Wow'ed by it and think the user of it has won the argument. Why the fuck do we need tactics to argue? Arguments are about facts. Not about how to make the other person look stupid.

The other tactic I have had used on me is taking my argument (whether wrong or right) and saying it back to me in a mocking tone. And the people who use it on me think that they have won the argument. Grrr............

Job Opening - 24th January 2009

A friend and I have come up with an idea for a cartoon strip for milktar.co.za. Unfortunately... we can't draw. If there are any budding cartoonists out there who can spare a bit of time translating our ideas onto paper, please e-mail me.

No, I don't need dental insurance like Victor Matfield... because I don't play rugby. - 6th November 2008

It was really frustrating me the whole of yesterday. Couldn't the US electoral committee have a waited one day so that "Remember, Remember the 5th of November" would have had more relevence. With conspiracies in mind, here is what I predict for the President-elect of the US: some racist KKK followers and other kinds of US racists are going to continuously make attempts on his life. Gradually he will become more and more paranoid, and turn into a megalomaniac dictator who will rule the world with fear and tyranny. And then 2+2 will equal 5. And then Michael Moore will make a movie about it just before he is dragged away by the Control Brigade (the name for the police force which will prevent any free speech) never to be seen again.

Okay. Somebody has to say it. And who better than myself. I am a computer nerd. I spend one hell of a lot of time in front of it. I love it. I fantasize about it. Every third thought is about it. It is effectively my life. Yet, how is it possible that I am able to take one step back from it and realise that there are certain things in life that it does not replace? 1) real sex, 2) outdoors, 3) real sports (even the Wii can't compare), 4) sincerity. Sincerity. Sin-fucking-cerity. You cannot, cannot, cannot be sincere on a social networking site (no matter how AJAX powered it is). In terms of commonly used forms of communication I have made a list of mediums in order of sincerity (from most to least):

  1. Speaking face to face
  2. Written Letter
  3. Telephone call
  4. Telegram (it's expensive to send, so every word has a lot of meaning)
  5. E-mail
  6. SMS
  7. Writing a tar
  8. Facebook

And now to my point. Why would you use the least sincere form of communication to invite people to your party or to give people good wishes or to just show them you are thinking of them? It's cheap you say... so is e-mail I say (well not me, but a friend who helped me form my opinion on this whole topic). And so much less intrusive. Outlook Express allows you very easily to manage all your contacts in a very neat way. And sending a mass e-mail is a matter of the same amount of clicks as doing the same in Facebook. In fact, the whole thing can be done in Gmail as well and Gmail makes even better use of AJAX than Facebook. So stop using Facebook. And since it is the lowest form of communication (almost equal to grunting like a Chimpanzee), why do you assume that everybody you know is a) actually registered and b) your Facebook friend? "Oh, it's justified that I didn't wish him mazaltov/send him condolences/invite him to my party/ever speak to him ever... because he's not on Facebook". Are you kidding me? Seriously? Human contact has been replaced (not enhanced) by a technological medium.?!? This goes way beyond the basic human desire to communicate. This is just sick. It's sick. And you're being told this by a computer nerd who is trying to get his masters in teleCOMMUNICATION.

I remember when I was the last one to have a cellphone (ironic, as I am currently studying towards the above mentioned degree), I would get angry because people wouldn't try communicate with me because they couldn't SMS me. I wanted them to phone. I wanted them to have enough respect for me to actually make the effort to contact me. But I came to understand that it was a more convenient way to communicate. Sometimes you don't want to speak to someone. I came to understand it. But the difference here is that I didn't have to advertise myself via SMS, I don't have to put photos on my SMS wall or tell everyone in my SMS status that I had the best night at the Manhattan Club. Facebook is intrusive - according to Google I will now only be the 6th person to realise this. Although I didn't actually realise it myself. I was kind of swayed to this opinion by a very opinionated friend.

On a different note. Movies like Hitch and My Best Friend's Girl and books like The Game are making men realise how easy women are. These movies are showing how men are coming to terms with the annoying "everything is opposite" female logic: "He's so arrogant and nasty I want to fuck him" and "He's so sweet and nice I want to vomit and be his friend". Now an interesting thing: what about twomen? Don't they click when they watch these movies? Don't they see how stupid this whole stereotype is? Women watch movies too don't they? Unless they're playing along? Are they playing along? Why? Men take it so seriously but women play along? What? I want to see a movie about women's tactics. Surely they have tactics too. I mean you get a glimpse of it some movies were girls ask each other stuff "do these clothes make me look like I want sex or do they say I want to be treated well". But this is too basic. Just a thought.

And you know what? Just back to Facebook again... you drive a car and know what an engine is and what wheels are right? Then if you are going to use Facebook then at least find out what AJAX is, you sons of stinking bitches and stop thinking "oh, he is such a nerd because he uses technical terminology". AJAX powers your social life and apparently replaces the need for sincerity and you still don't know what it is? Well, fuck you.

Don't you dare move! - 12th October 2008

You mean besides losing one of my best friends to suicide and unknowingly giving the wrong idea to a gay guy (which both happened at round about the same time)? Well, not much really.

[It's kind of funny how I started writing this tar about a week ago and then ran out of steam. Originally the next paragraph was as follows:

Oh yah, I think I am learning to take woman/girls off the pedestal that I've so comfortably been accommodating them in for the last 10 years. Did you know that woman/girls are human too? Okay ture, they have boobs and some damn fine asses. But they are human (despite what some of them may think). And they want to be accepted."

However, after going through a bunch of emotional shit in my life, and having a discussion with an insightful friend, the tar has flipped on its head. So here goes...]

I have come to the realisation (as I often do) that I am going to perpetually be a nice/sweet guy (and somebody who likes to split infinitives). It is who I am. When I am being nice I am being myself. I like to offer girls lifts home, fetch things for them, buy them drinks, give them my jacket when its raining without expecting anything in return. I like treating girls well. And come to thing of it I like putting girls on a pedestal. The one reason is more historical: woman have suffered for thousands of years. Suddenly we have hit a point where they are finally getting the respect they deserve. So I'm doing my part for history's sake.

The other reason is just simply because I like to treat girls well. Its not really a reason, as much as a desire of mine. Maybe its programmed. Actually, it's kind of obvious that it is programmed. So who the hell am I to deny what I am. So I will continue to be nice and sweet. And to every girl who I have ever annoyed by being too nice and sweet... well, fuck you... you stay up on that damn pedestal and you don't move. After years of constantly fighting to get off it, you will realise that you were sitting very pretty and will wish that you could climb back on to it again and hopefully it won't be too late.

This isn't a dedication - 16th September 2008

I like to write on this website about things that are not so important. Therefore I will use this opportunity to not write about a friend who is not around anymore.

It sure beats the hell out of learning Radial Basis Functions - 19th June 2008

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to ask you to put a cover sheet on your TPS reports".

I'm sure people are wondering why I simplified this website down. More than anything it was for a practical reason: 30 Mb of website space doesn't get you that far if you try be clever and use an open source website system (more formally called a "Content Management System"). The minimalist design is inspired by three things:

  1. An inability to write proper, hard core websites (read as laziness)
  2. The simple look of the very first web page ever (read as laziness)
  3. A lecturer who called flash and javascript "incarnations of the devil".

The above paragraph is why KD girls never took a liking to me. They are still to come the realisation that, to misquote Douglas Coupland, it is now cool to be a geek. Well, I'll tell you bitches now, when you're reading about my multi-million Rand software company in the Jewish Report, then you might change your minds. But probably not. You just want to get married.

Speaking of geeks (or nerds), I've had quite a few girls tell me that they are geeks/nerds. Knowing who they are, I have had to give them a very stern talking to. They are not geeks/nerds. They will never be geeks/nerds. It's very hard to pinpoint exactly why. But if you knew who I was talking about, you'd agree. I don't want to get into the definition of what a geek/nerd is. Mainly because once I was trying to explain to a hottie (who is definitely not a geek/nerd) what a geek/nerd is and I landed up twisting my words so far (as I do around hotties) as to come to the conclusion that because she loves dancing that this means that she is a dance nerd (wtf?). All I can say is that you can't define geek/nerd sort of how you can't define chutzpah - you just have to get a feeling for it.

DISCLAIMER! WARNING! ACHTUNG! DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY FUNNY COMMENTS ABOUT ISRAEL/JEWS. IMAGINE THIS PARAGRAPH IS BEING SPOKEN BY A JEWISH CHRIS ROCK, ie IT IS INTENDED TO BE FUNNY.
I'm jealous that Lawrie is being allowed to express his Zionism in the Holy Land. I want to too. Maybe I'll go soon. As much as I dislike Israelis (despite my real name being a Hebrew one), I have a yearning to return home... and make Aliyah. Bullshit. Aliyah is for pussies. Aliyah is for people who feel bad because Israel is struggling without them and needs them. Israel is doing just fine, last I heard. I'll stay in the diaspora thank you very much, the diaspora needs Jews - who else are people in the First World going to persecute when the time comes around again (as it seems to do every 50 to 100 years with Jews)? Be a man I say! It's not easy being a Jew in the diaspora, so don't piss of to Israel so you can be protected by Israel's kick ass army. I'm going to go it alone as a Jew in the big bad world, because I can take the pain. I can take the suffering. Suffering... that's what a real Jewish Johannesburg boy experiences... real suffering. I'll put it in context for you by quoting a friend: living in the diaspora as a persecuted Jew "sure beats the hell out of studying Radial Basis Functions".

Breakout - 17th May 2008

Coldplay have this wonderful ability to grab me at first and then bore me after quite a few listens. I can see this happening with "Viva La Vida"...

I'm feeling inspired. Many reasons. Lots of ideas. Some funny. Some clever. Some stupid. But there's lots of them. I can now understand why this is the age where people become millionaires. The mind is working like crazy. It comes to grips with some of the realities of the world and it feels like it grab the world by the balls and tell it whose boss. That's how I'm feeling. I want to grab the world by the balls and tell it whose boss. Before my time runs out.

Everybody around me is growing up. I just turned 23. But I feel like I'm 16 and I probably always will. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully grasp the whole growing up, maturing thing. I like being my sister's little brother or that strange guy from school who people didn't really know how to relate to. I can still function in an adult world, but I'll have to translate adultspeak into 16yearoldspeak before fully comprehending anything.

Example:
Adultspeak: An interesting thing about this 1964 Merlot...
16yearoldspeak: An interesting thing about the Nintendo64...

The reason I am still a 16 year old is because I still haven't had that breakout phase of my life. That "fuck you to everybody" stage where you do what you want, fuck consequences. Consequences. Fucking consequences. I live by them. That's why I'm always the nice guy. I fear the consequences of being anything else. Nice is comfortable for me. I like girls calling me nice even though I tell everybody I hate it. Anybody want to clue me as to what the catalyst is for the breakout phase?

I remember watching one KD Girl go through her breakout phase. It annoyed me, because KD Girls aren't supposed to have them. They're supposed to have pseudo-breakout phases, where they pretend that they're enjoying life. But we all know that a KD Girl won't be content until she has some poor nice Jewish boy put a ring around her finger. But this one went through a proper breakout. Flirting with Muslims (Muslims!!! No!!), wearing very revealing clothes, using her hotness and intelligence to attract every guy she came across. The same girl who was a prefect at school, and was modest and not hectic. It annoyed me.

It is apparent that I have a mild obsession with my teenage years.

"When the future's architectured, By a carnival of idiots on show, You'd better lie low" - thank you Chris Martin.

My First ParadoxTM - 13th May 2008

Scientists, Mathematicians and Engineers know that chaos and non-linearities exist in the universe and what their consequences are but will never fully grasp the fact that they exist.
Artists fully grasp the fact that chaos and non-linearities exist, but will never actually realise what they mean.

TS, TS, KD, DH, JF, JS - 1st May 2008 (3:30am - after manahttan)

I noticed tonight that a group of well-known very very very typical KD Girls are still friends after more than 4 years of being out of KD. Now human beings are only so capable of putting up with friends who are bitchy/assholly for so long before having to move on to a new gorup of friends. But this group of girls seems to still be going - which says a lot. You think you have them pinned, but then they throw another curve ball. I guess that's a property of KD girls. But still, maybe there is some sincerity in them, albeit if they keep it between themselves.

Why was I at manhattan? The same reason today my dog Dylan was barking non-stop at a lizard that he could not reach. The lizard was frustrating him non stop but he carried on barking at it. I'm still wearing my collared shirt which reeks of cigarette smoke (btw, a big "FUCK YOU" to the guy who burnt me with his cigarette. If you are going to smoke, then smoke. Don't wave around the fucking cigarette as if it were something to show off.)

(I've decided that not all Tars will end with a counclusion and that many tars will be very short and in many cases disjointed. I've also decided not to give a reason as to why.)

Facebook chat... - 23rd April 2008

... is evil.

Who's the smartest, coolest, hottest? - 18th April 2008

Check out this website: Compare People

For fuck's sakes! In case you didn't figure it out, the link is to a Facebook app which allows you to rate your friends as hottest, smartest, most valued as a friend, etc. Why???? Why has Facebook become so important in our lives that it is used as a means for telling the world what we "truly" think of our friends? I can't....

I have a week's break now to regain some sanity after some hard pummeling a la the University of the Witwatersrand. I've taken it left right and centre. Sorta learning about how SMS's are sent, how call waiting works and I even had to analyse the following equation and tell my lecturer why I thought it was wrong: Einstein led a more interesting life than me.
Na, just kidding, this one: Thank you Stevens and Sinclair... assholes!
These are the exciting things I do. Everyday.

I'm starting to feel that I'm taking my life way too seriously. Thinking about work, marriage (Marriage!), money etc. I'm not thinking about the next interesting adventure I'm going to go on. It's sad day when I'm impresssed with myself that I can finally touch type. A guy I study with at varsity told me he's going diving this weekend. Do you know what I'm doing this weekend? Going to the Digital Life expo. I should be going sky-diving or sailing. I certainly shouldn't be updating this godforsaken website. Feel sorry for me if you want. And the next time you see me please be sure to tell me I'm a fucking idiot.

Hello again - 7th April 2008

I'm back. Obviously not when I'm supposed to back. But I'm back nonetheless. The reason I say I'm not supposed to be back is because I have too many or too much work to do (thank you UNKLE), hence the perfect time to restart milktar.

Since we last met, I've picked up a degree, started studying for another, settled up (definately not down) to a hot girlfriend, co-run a Jewish youth camp and watched Muse live. I've also picked up some new web development skills (as you've probably noticed) and learnt a thing or two about who I am. Corny, yes. But I didn't have to go travelling the world to do it. It might sound a bit sad, but hear me out. A lot of people have to travel the world (and find an old fashioned girl - thank you Gomez) to discover who they really are. But I'm one of those boring ones who doesn't have to. I'm a nice Jewish boy, with an Electrical Engineering degree, with big business ideas and boring, run-of-the-mill sense of humour. Take my word... I'm only mildly funny on this website. You know who I am? I'm that guy that you only ever see at weddings or barmitzvahs with whom you only need 5 minutes to catch up with before conversation gets boring and try your hardest to find a moment when its not rude to walk away (when conversation gets tedious, I usually resort to looking down, rocking backwards and forwards on my feet, and then muttering "see you later", before quickly making an exit).

I haven't really mentioned her a lot, because I'm sure she'd prefer not to be mentioned, but my girlfriend (could you believe it? milktar managed to hide away all his insecurities for 5 minutes, to trick this poor girl into thinking that he might be an interesting guy) is actually quite fantastic. You see what she helped me do (without realising it) is fold all my silly little ideas about KD Girls into a nice neat pile - such that they are now out the way. Sort of. I still have my gripes. I still tense up when I see those blue skirts. But at least I'm not so frustrated as I used to be. Which means that this website is now going to be of a more general nature. I'm not going to force out some stupid comment about how KD Girls wear lip gloss to frustrate guys etc.. etc... *yawn*.

Another reason I centered milktar (btw, for clarification, milktar is my name and milktar is also the name of this website, hence my using it for both) around KD Girls is also because I was hoping that, in between surfing Facebook (I know, Facebook wasn't known to KD Girls when milktar was at its prime, but I'm just mentioning it here for effect), they would come read what I had to write and then mend their ways and find me hot. But every KD Girl always thought I was talking about someone else and also didn't find me hot. So milktar served no point, except maybe to give some poor sods similar to me some glimmer of hope that KD Girls would find them attractive.

Interestingly enough, there have been some cases of KD Girls starting to be interested in non-jewish-asshole types, but these KD Girls are getting to that settling down phase. And if you might recall, settling down is not a good thing.

That's all from me for today. Hopefully this time I won't let milktar.co.za go into hibernation again.....

Chat. Be patient... gimme a chance to log on.

Courtesy of Toast
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